What to Do When You Run Into an Ex Hookup

Regardless if the split was amicable or a huge heart-wrenching disaster, crossing paths with an ex hookup is never easy.
When you run into an ex hookup, your objective is to be as gracious, but brief as possible. And since not all encounters with the ex are created equal, we have identified a few scenarios to help you prepare for that potentially awkward moment.

•  When You’re the One Who Got Dumped

In the unfortunate event that you bump into the guy who gutted you emotionally, the first thing you should do is put on a brave face and keep your composure. This means no screaming, blaming, or even crying these shameless shenanigans are best save for your friends.  And you definitely wouldn’t want to confirm that it was a smart move on his part to ditch you. So no matter how poorly you’ve been coping with the split, when he asks how you’ve been, just flash your most charming smile and say, “Great!” Then carry on.

•  When You’re the One Who Dumped Him

Men behave differently from women when they’ve been hurt. While it might be within your emotional capacity to treat the asshole that ran your heart through the shredder in a warm manner, when you’re the asshole, don’t expect the same treatment. Make sure you’re prepared in the likely event that he gives you the cold shoulder, and make it a point not to dwell on it. Likewise, hold back on being too nice or overly concerned. This is a sign that means you want to lessen your guilt, and might even lead him on.

•  When You’re Still Tempted

Here’s a scenario where you kind of secretly hope he’d run into you: You’re out with your friends, looking gorgeous and feeling fantastic. You’ve downed a few and suddenly… you’re missing him. Hold it, take a deep breath, and think of all the reasons why you are not meant to hookup with him. Then, remind yourself of how tough it is to reach this good place you’re currently in. Don’t even think of wasting that kind of confidence and energy on him, but instead, channel them towards that hotter guy at the bar.

Quit Obsessing Over Your Ex Hookup

You can ask any girl: It’s pretty damn almost impossible to just quit a guy cold turkey when things don’t work out. But if you handle that post-split period the right way, you can actually get over the guy faster, move on sooner, and cut back on the gallons of Ben and Jerry’s you’ll stuff your face with.
Regardless of what caused the end of the hookup, a split leaves women with a huge desire to fill in that void left behind.  So what’s the easiest way to fill this void? Let me give you a hint: It starts with E and ends with X. But like we said, there are ways to avoid getting ensnared to this trap and move on with your life. Here are a few tips that will make it easy for you to get back on track, and find someone else who is way better than your ex hookup.

•  Follow the 30-minute rule

You might be thinking that the reason you want to know if he’s free one Friday evening is because you really miss him and would like to catch up, but it’s very likely you’re just 1) lonely; or b) bored, and are going for him because he used to be your partner on date night. If you step on the breaks and analyze this “pull,” you can tell the difference between genuine desire from temporary, emotionally charged desire. The best way to do this is to use the 30-minute rule: When the urge to contact him hits you, do something to shift your focus. It may sound too simple, but odds are you’ll be less inclined to contact him after half an hour of focusing your attention to something else. You’ll soon find out that the urge is only fleeting.

•  Identify what sets you off

A lot of women have certain triggers things that set them off and make them start thinking about him. Give yourself a few minutes to think back and recognize the things that cause you to feel terrible over the split, and then take action. This might mean you have to block his Facebook posts for a while, or temporarily keeping stuff that reminds you of him deep in your closet. When you’re fresh out of a breakup, you’re still pretty vulnerable to that emotional tug, so getting rid of all the reminders can be of huge help in getting over that initial hump.

•  Make a list

Think of the top three reasons why you’re better off without him. It’s very tempting to view your relationship in an idealistic perspective, but it’s crucial to realistically think about why you’re better off without him. Once you see the bigger picture, you will be able to quell those urges to stick to a guy that’s not right for you just because it makes you feel comfortable, and prevent them from coming back.

How Guys Get Over a Split from a Woman They’re Adult Dating

The reason why we think guys are immune to a post-relationship slump? They are really, really good at hiding it.

When Seal started to make the rounds in talk shows, almost everyone seemed to be surprised at how calm and collected he looked after his split from Heidi Klum. He even told talk show host Ellen DeGeneres that he’s keeping his wedding ring on because he likes to feel “connected” with his ex.

But surely, what he says in public is entirely different from how he feels in private. Even if guys play it cool after a break up, that happens to them after the split depends on who broke up with whom.

If he was the one who did, he was probably sad for a split second before he started daydreaming about the new girls he’s to go adult dating with. However, if he was the one run over by the dump truck, his post-split behavior would be far different. Yes, psycho dudes do psychotic things, but normal dudes like Seal, who are saddened by the end of a beautiful adult dating relationship, throw their attention to fighting that depressing feeling. Read on for a guy’s take on what Seal is probably going through.

Holding Back Tears

Some guys claim they never cry. But the truth is we never let anyone see us crying. I was madly in love with Janice then. Our song was “Crazy in Love” because that was how we were back when we were adult dating. And after she broke up with me, I was telling our story to a friend at a bar when I had to grit my teeth and excuse myself. When I got home, I pulled the curtains shut and blasted heavy metal songs. And then I cried. It felt good, only because I knew that no one saw me.

Fighting Inanimate Objects

Guys usually work through the pain of a broken heart by substituting it with a much bearable pain of bloody knuckles. I once had a roommate who, after being dumped by his Leighton Meester look-alike girlfriend, constantly wailed on a punching bag installed in our apartment. I have the soft hands of a writer, so I spent the greater part of my recovery from one nasty breakup by living inside the game “Grand Theft Auto IV” for a couple of weeks. I crashed cars and shot anyone who looked at me funny. It may be odd, but it helped me vent out chaotic emotions that I had no idea how to process any other way.

Can an Adult Dating Relationship Work the Second Time Around?

If an adult dating relationship ends, it’s apparent that there were issues, and it’s quite hard to imagine things going more smoothly the second time. This rings especially true if it’s a bad breakup. Shouldn’t two people learn from the experience and just move on?
According to experts, this is not necessary. Yes, there may have been problems, but a serious timeout can make the couple’s adult dating relationship stronger in the long run if those problems are addressed and resolved. With that being said, there are certain rules that can help increase your odds of success in the second round.

•  Go Slow

It’s tough to slam on the breaks when you’re trying to make up for lost time, while enjoying the familiarity of being together. But whether you admit it or not, you’ve both changed, and you need to take time to get reacquainted.
Relationship therapists say you should try to look at it as a brand new relationship. While you can’t wait to quickly move forward to cozy weekend mornings in bed, it is crucial to stop and take a moment to think about why you want to be back together just like you would do when you’re adult dating any guy.
Try to be honest with yourself: If the idea of going to a party alone terrifies you, then you’re most likely just looking for a quick fix for your loneliness, and not your ex. Sooner or later, you’ll be having that conversation where you’ll be telling him, “We need to talk.” But if you can imagine yourself with him backpacking across South America next summer and him feeling the same way, you’re heart is probably in the right place.

•  Touch on the Past

You broke up for a reason. And if you and your ex are planning on getting back together, you need to face the things that went wrong the first time if you want to move forward. And then let it all go, once and for all.
Try working on the details of what you want to do differently the second time in such a way that isn’t the least bit threatening. Be positive in your statements and say things like “It would make me happy if…” with him doing the same, and then really put them in action. Pick your battles when it comes to your past issues or you’ll pick up where you left off.

•  And Then Move Forward

One favorable aspect of breaking up once is it probably made you stronger. After splitting up with someone, we learn how to live our own lives without them. This makes you gain a new perspective that makes you better this time around.

Taming a Flirty Friend Who Wants to Hook Up with Your Man

Trish is one of my closest friends, and my hook up dating partner in crime when we were both still single. I’ve seen her charm her way to men’s hearts with an easy laugh or a fixed gaze, which eventually led me to learn how to read her body language. Her moves landed her a boyfriend in college, a few flings, and her hubby John. All of this didn’t matter to me, until she started using them on my husband, Seth.

Trish never flirted with Seth, until we started going out on double dates. She’s been asking him too many questions about his vintage guitar collection and laughing a little too hard at his jokes all of this being done while flashing that familiar flirty smile. John and I are left to engage in small talk, pretending not to hear their conversation.

I didn’t give my husband a heads up of Trish’s antics right away, since I trust him and didn’t want to sound bitchy and insecure. But after a few more double dates, I finally asked what he thought of Trish’s flirting. He answered with the typical guy response: “Really? I’ve never noticed.” You’ve got to be kidding me.

There’s another weird aspect of this whole situation: Seth acts salacious towards me after going out with Trish. When I mention this to my friend and therapist, Liz Lombardo, PhD, she says I relax. Even if Seth doesn’t notice Trish’s actions, they still boost his ego, and this primes him for great hook up with me, which she says I should take advantage of.

It’s pretty good advice, but I can’t promise to deal with it sensibly.

I’ve been told by an expert that it takes guys four times longer to pick up on subtle social signs than it does for women, which is most likely the reason why Seth is unaware of Trish’s flirting. And since Trish and I have never had to compete for guys, her flirting is done subconsciously, because it’s a way for her to feel attractive and alive. I’ve been advised to direct Trish’s thoughts on a different direction. I have to call attention to the fact that Seth and I are a “we,” saying something like, “Seth and I had a great time in New York. When are you guys going on a trip?”

So should I confront Trish? She would have stepped over the line if she suggests that she and Seth do something on their own. A confrontation should be done if I start to see the situation in a distorted way, like Seth falling in love with Trish or that Trish is doing this just to spite me, which only means my happiness is seriously at stake. If this is the case, I’ve been told to make a lighthearted comment like, “Wow, you really laugh a little too hard at Seth’s jokes.” Trish should take the hint and ease off. And if not, this may be a sign that she doesn’t have innocent intentions and clearly wants to hook up with my husband.

Silly Things Women Do When They Hookup with Guys

We all make sacrifices for love, and even women do it when they hookup with guys. So which of you girls are guilty of doing any of these?

•  Getting a Brazilian Wax

So which part of using-hot-wax-to-tear-out-all-those-little-hairs-out-of-the-vajayjay sounds like a terrific idea? Going through a painful session of a Brazilian wax treatment is nothing short of cruel and unusual punishment, yet a lot of women voluntarily subject themselves to this kind of torture when they hookup with guys because then know how men love the bare look.

•  Running Water When You Pee

It is just embarrassing, but girls turn the faucet on because, heaven forbid, their men hear their streams hit the toilet bowl water. I know it totally makes no sense to try and pretend girls don’t do all the normal things guys do in the bathroom, but they cover their tracks anyway.

•  Killing Yourself in Spin Class

Yes, we all know that endorphin-pumping exercise rocks, but honestly, if the world was made up of purely women, would a 60-minute, 500-calorie, sweat-and-pain-fest exist? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

•  Wearing Five-Inch Heels

Admittedly, girls love to strut their stuff in sexy sky-high heels. But after walking around in them for a couple of hours, those stilettos can betray them big time. Yes, it’s easy to change into those ingenious fold-up ballet flats tucked in your clutch, but then he might discover that your legs don’t go on forever.

•  Buying Gifts for His Relatives

Your man may forget his mom’s birthday, but of course you don’t, which makes you responsible for making sure she gets a present. Have you even heard a guy complain of much Christmas shopping he has to do? I thought so. Women take charge of gift shopping because they just can’t trust that their guys can get it done.

•  Spending a Night at His Place, in the Middle of Nowhere,  on a Weekday

When girls hookup with guys overnight, he only other thing that’s worse than getting ready for work is having to stuff just the bare essentials in an overnight bag. You don’t have your favorite hairdryer, no variety of outfits to choose from, and no shoe versus boot choices. Boo.

•  Faking It

It’s terribly wrong, but whether you needed more foreplay or just weren’t in the mood, women often fake orgasms. They usually fake it than risk hurting their man’s feelings or cause awkwardness. Yes, girls should be getting off, but when they can’t, they sometimes try to indulge their inner drama queens and put on a nice performance.

Hookup Dating Activities He Will Never Forget

Suggest going on one of these hookup dating activities and we guarantee he won’t say, “Nah, I’d be better off taking a long walk on the beach and talk about my feelings.”

• Rent a Vespa and go for a joyride

Why he’s going to dig it:  Your man will feel like a badass on a motorcycle and you’ll have the perfect reason to wrap your arms around him.
What to wear:  Channel Bella Swan and wear a helmet, a leather jacket, skinny jeans and biker boots.
Bad girl move to make:  After your exhilarating joyride, ride back to your place and take off everything, except your biker boots.

• Go to a classic rock concert

Why he’s going to dig it:  He’s been jonesing to see Aerosmith, Journey or Mr. Big since he was a teenager, and you can be the girl that can make this happen.  If his favorite band will not be touring in your city, check your local nightspots for gigs of up-and-coming bands you both would like to check out.
What to wear:  Go in a vintage rocker tee, fashionably ripped jeans, and Chuck Taylor sneakers or ballet flats so you can rock the night out without hurting your feet.
Bad girl move to make:  Take his hand and try to sneak in the front row before the band comes back out for their encore performance.  He will definitely love being that close to rock icons.

• Get tickets to a watch a basketball game

Why he’ll dig it:  Regardless if it’s a professional basketball team or his school alma mater, watching a fast-paced, adrenalin pumping game of hoops will get him energized.
What to wear:  Skip those jerseys and instead go in a sexy outfit with the team’s colors.
Bad girl move to make:  Make a bet on how much points your team will win and let him know what you plan to do to him when you win.

• Take a boxing class

Why he’ll dig it:  You will score huge points for indulging his sporty nature in this physical hookup dating activity, and prep him up for later by throwing a few playful punches his way.
What to wear:  Put your hair up and slip into sexy yoga pants, a sports top, and huge red boxing gloves.
Bad girl move to make:  Pin your man to the ground and make sure you’re lying on top of him, then whisper in his ear that this is just a preview of the showdown that will happen later.

Red Flags You Should Look Out For on Your First Sex Dating Activity

There are times when guys will forego coming clean and being honest when sex dating just to stretch the truth.  Read on to find out how and why.
Generally, guys will do anything to wow the pants off or even get into your pants during your first date, which includes lying through their teeth.  Sometimes, fibbing is done to avoid undesirable situations.  Although it would be quite a feat to discuss all the lies uttered by men when sex dating, here are the more common ones.

• “I’m in between jobs right now.”

Do not get a statement like this be lost in translation.  When a guy dishes you this line, what he really means is he has no freakin’ idea what he wants to do with his life.  This is the only way to sugarcoat a guy’s situation when he’s unemployed.  A fair warning:  This guy’s mom still does his laundry and it is very likely you’ll be buying dinner.

• “I don’t really move this fast on a first date.”

Yeah, right.  But the truth is he just can’t believe you’re allowing him to move that fast.  When dating, it’s always the woman who dictates how far things go.  However, there are some guys who play the prig card so they wouldn’t seem like a player.  The bottom line is if you give a man a piece of ass on a silver platter, he’s definitely going to take it.

• “I have never been in a serious relationship.”

It may be possible he’s never had a legitimate better half, but there may be an ulterior motive for saying this.  It could be a devious way of saying he can’t commit.  Men tend to downplay their ability to commitment so the girls they hookup with won’t get attached, allowing them to play the field.  On the other hand, he just might be piquing your interest with a sly challenge.  Wouldn’t you want to be the girl a guy can’t resist falling for?

• “I’ll be calling you.”

This one might hurt a bit, but this is the most common lie guys say, especially if they had a really horrible sex dating, or dating experience in general.  However, there is some good news.  A sneaky way to tell if he’s going to call is if he lets you know when he’ll call like when he says “I’ll call you tomorrow at lunch time” or “I’ll call you on Friday after work,” it can almost guarantee he’ll keep his promise

A City Sex Guide on Picking up Chicks

You’ll never guess when Leighton Meester’s far-sighted and sexually promiscuous twin will cross your path, so you better be damn ready hit on her. Here are four pickup scenarios and how to capitalize on them taken from our City Sex vault of essential guidelines.

• Aboard Airplanes

Most men rely on dumb luck, hoping they sit right next to a hot girl. Scratch that. Spot the girl you like before you board, approach her and try to establish a connection with a funny ice breaker. You can then say, “I hate to be stuck on this long flight next to a fat and smelly guy. Let’s sit together.” Once they agree, make a short conversation and then tune her out—put on your earphones to listen to music or go to sleep. This will show her you’re not a conversation terrorist. Resume talking around 30 minutes before touchdown.

• In Elevators

You will have very little time, so our City Sex tips say be interesting, avoid being creepy and be efficient. A friend once in an elevator when a gorgeous woman stepped in as the door closed. “You take your time, don’t you?” he said with a smile. When the door opened as it stopped on other floors, he’d say, “This thing is trying to get rid of you.” She found this funny and figured he was different from the other guys, so he asked for her number.

• In Traffic

This requires even more quickness and guts than in elevators. Ask her to roll down her window, make sure you smile and look friendly then grab her interest immediately. Say something like, “Hi, you look like an expert. Let me ask your take on this dating concern my friend is having.” You can make something up, but before you finish your story, nod towards the changing traffic light, show her your phone and say, “We’re out of time! Can you give me your number? We can’t let my friend down.”

• When She’s with a Date

This is not recommended, but it usually works. When you’re out with friends and a gorgeous girl walks in with her date, ask them to join you. The guy will probably think, “Cool! I can show off in front of her.” But he’ll never know what’s about to hit him. Talk to him as much as her, make him feel good and keep the conversation flowing. Make friends and get both their numbers then call the girl. If you made a good impression and the guy looks up to you, she will recognize this and be possibly attracted to you.

Are Jealous Adult Dating Partners the Absolute Turn On?

For most guys, jealousy that is quite extreme can be a deal breaker in their adult dating partners. They would immediately end a relationship if their expensive suit got slashed or their car was torched, but for some, it can be the best aphrodisiac.

A jealous girlfriend is a guaranteed sign that you are in a lifetime of self-justification, surveillance, suspicion or maybe even a torched Bimmer or two. However, there is still a certain appeal to knowing your adult dating partner is psycho-crazy enough for you to check up on you every so often. But before you say “are you fucking nuts,” think back to past celebrity headlines when Lindsay Lohan went after her ex-lover Samantha Ronson all the way to London just a couple of months after Ronson’s family reportedly asked about a restraining order against Lindsay. Samantha caved.

There will come a point where it’s fair to say, “What the fuck, man?” It's hard to imagine why any well-adjusted man with options would stick around for another fireworks display of psychosis. But for some guys, the explanation is simple: He found Kerry's behavior erotic.

“I’m not a ripped California surfer dude,” says Jason who has been with Kathleen, his then extremely jealous girlfriend. “So when you have the most beautiful girl in the world fighting for you? That’s kind of… hot.”

It has been an exceptional year for the jealous female. There was a girlfriend charged with attempted murder by burning a lap dancer alive after dousing her with gasoline. Then there was former NFL quarterback Steve McNair that was found executed next to the body of a woman who shot him and herself. Investigators believed he was seen with another woman. And then there was the mother of all jealous partner horror stories: the Wisconsin philanderer who had his manhood glued to his abdomen. These stories aren’t just enthralling because they’re gruesome; they are enthralling because the peculiarity of the jealous female, as ancient as it is, still astonishes us.

According to Reid Mihalko, a sex and relationship expert, we are supposed to do everything to avoid it, so we have no tools to handle it, but legally it’s still a defense, which tells us our culture still views it as something you can't control." And, Mihalko says, virtually everyone, no matter how rational, has the potential to lose her shit.

The Rules of Casual Relationships

There are people out there who would think that after the first date it’s going to be quite serious. They sometimes think that once they have gone beyond the first date, they have found someone they really want to be with. This is quite tragic, since there are people who often give someone only one date to show them who they are.

When you are on the stage of casual dating or casual relationships, it allows you to get to know the person even more. Even if you just have a casual relationship without sex, you are spending time with one another to see if you two will fit. There are certain rules and guidelines that tend to dictate casual dating. Here, we compiled the major rules and understandings of casual dating relationships.

Not Official
Getting to know each other means you just have to be cool and not act as if you guys are official. Getting to know each other doesn’t really mean you are officially committed to one another and not officially dating.

Take everything in stride and realize that both of you are simply trying to feel each other out.

Exclusivity
You should know where you stand in this casual relationships thing. Exclusivity is probably the most confusing part of this. There are those who think that people who are casually dating should not see other people while there are those who are fine with seeing multiple people at one time.
The most important thing for you to do is to be on the same page as the other person in the casual dating relationship. If you feel that you have been “casually dating” for a longer period of time you can bring the situation up. They may not agree with what you want to do, but will help you to understand where you are both at in the “casual dating” relationship.

Meeting the Friends
Sometimes you may still feel that you are in the “hang-out” stage, the part where you are working to impress the person you are interested in and have nothing to worry about. Most individuals will actually introduce the person they are talking to to meet the friends at this time. Even if you are just casually dating, you also need to impress the friends.

Hopefully your casual relationships with people will be nothing but light and easy. You don’t have to worry about things and just let things go with the flow.

The Dos and Don_ts on a First Date Hookup

We surveyed a community of daters and asked them questions about dating, sex and relationship advice to find out what first date hookup behavior kills any chance of going out on a second date. Here are a few first date hookup mistakes and how to fix them:

• DON’T be arrogant. Women hate it when men brag about how hot all the girls they date on a regular basis, or how rich he is. It’s a total turn off! That kind of arrogance is completely transparent, so shut it before you attempt to convince your date how much of a stud you are.

• DO talk yourself up. Credit should be given to where it is due. Graciously accept compliments and humbly talk about your achievements. However, make sure you give your date the same attention and chance to talk about herself.

• DON’T forget your manners. Women hate guys with no table manners. One member once went out on a date hookup with a guy that ate off her plate, and even drank her drink. Everyone has their own comfort level on sharing food during a first date, so err on the side of caution—at least ask before you take a spoonful off her plate or a sip from her drink.

• DO relax. Yes, manners are very important. But if you unintentionally spill your drink or find yourself with something stuck between your teeth, do not overreact and make a big deal out of it. Always remember that dating should be fun, and there’s nothing more of a buzz killer than having to always reassure your date that it’s not a big deal, and don’t be embarrassed all throughout the date.

• DON’T be too aggressive. If you can’t gauge how she’s into you, don’t throw caution to the wind and go all out. In giving a goodbye kiss, keep your slithering tongue and your wandering hand in check until you can assess your date’s reaction.

• DO show you are interested if you really are. You wouldn’t want to come on too strong, but you do want to let your date know you are into him, so don’t keep him guessing. If you would like to go out on a second date, just say so.

• DON’T talk about your ex. This is one of the cardinal rules when going out on a first date. It simply show’s you’re not over your ex. Telling nasty things about an ex can be a killer. If he can say that about his ex, he can say the same about his potential partner.

• DO keep it real. Always be yourself; plain and simple. You’d be surprised with the results.

The Art of Adult Social Network Hook

If you are into adult social network dating or casual dating then you must understand that it just isn’t about sex. Alright, it’s more about sex but the thing is you need to work on your hook-up skills before you actually land yourself to the mother ship. Adult social network dating just like everything else in life can give you more of it if you actually put more to it. Casual dating sex? Doesn’t sound so bad now does it?
The tricks are actually getting your hookups getting hotter and hotter and avoid becoming burned out. Of course we want to avoid being the person who calls phone sex hotlines.

People have a lot of options these days and they won’t stay for long if they are not having a good time. It doesn’t even matter what kind of relationship they want, if they’re having a great time, they’re gone. We all know that when you are hooking up with someone, they are there because they wish to be there and they want you. The thing is to actually keep them wanting for more so understand that it’s your job to ensure that they can expect something better.

A good example to follow is to tease the other person. If you guys always hookup on the weekends then why don’t you send the other person some naughty messages during the work week just to excite you casual dating partner and want you. You don’t want the excitement to die, you want the fire to keep on burning. A few flirty messages before hooking-up would be great. You can send it to her/his email or send her/his a message on that adult social network site where you met if you don’t have her/his number but if you do, it’s better to leave a voice message or a text message to peak her/his interest.

Aside from messages, perhaps you can even send a photo that will surely arouse the heat in her/him. Something that will surprise her/him for the weekend would be good. Don’t forget that you just want to be simple and not harass her/him in such a way that you’re sending hundreds of flirt messages. One or two should be enough over the week. This will definitely make her/him excited and would want to see you soon.

Adult social network hook-up has a skill that should be practiced to be better at.

Online Adult Dating Profile Signs You Should Look Out For

From terrible spelling to dubious online adult dating profile photos, there are quite a number of things that can cause us to raise an eyebrow and proceed with caution. However, there are a few telltale signs that will make you click the “x” button faster than you can say weirdo. We conducted a survey to find out what the online adult dating profile mistakes that make them run away in the other direction.

• Looking sex-crazed

When you come across a guy’s profile that stresses his enjoyment of intimacy, what they mean, but don’t have the balls to say, is they want sex. Wanting sex is not new, so don’t get your panties in a bunch thinking you won’t get laid if you don’t pepper your online adult dating profile with sexual innuendos. Suggestive jokes can be funny once you get to know a person. But when delivered even before your first email exchange, it comes off as creepy and desperate.

• Cliché statements

Statements like, “I love long walks on the beach” and “I like hitting the theaters” are red flags. What kind of normal person doesn’t like going to the movies? There are loads of nice enough, regular people out there, but this is not enough to nab you a date. You are not required to be a pilot or say you’ve been to fascinating places around the world to stand out from the rest. You just have to be specific. Instead of saying you love to read books, talk about your favorite author. Instead of saying you like watching suspense thrillers, open up and let them know about your guilty pleasure TV show. It won’t matter if you don’t share hobbies with your potential partner, you will still seem interesting.

• Claims of being young at heart

If a profile says, “I have the heart and spirit of a sixteen year old,” run for the hills. This screams Peter Pan syndrome in so many ways. It’s alright to show your childish and silly side without posting direct statements about your mental age. It’s a clear sign you don’t have your life together and would be a disaster to go out with.

• The absence of solo pictures

Pictures with people who are way more attractive standing alongside you is a big no-no for some. Would you rather send a more qualified friend’s resume along with yours to a potential employer? I don’t think so. Remember, you are advertising yourself, not your friend.

Things a Guy Wishes You'd Do on a Date Hookup

This doesn’t involve a stripper pole, going without underpants or watching the latest sequel to Harold and Kumar’s misadventures. To be honest, guys could really use a playbook. It would be mighty convenient if the ladies can tell clueless men what you like and dislike when out on dates. We’re pretty sure you all feel the same. Here is a run through of things a guy wishes you’d do when out on a date hookup.

• Keep your Internet search findings to yourself

Let’s say you Googled around and found out that he had a hidden tattoo of Super Mario done during college and willfully attended a Black Eyed Peas concert a couple of months back. Unless he starts singing “Don’t Funk with My Heart” and wearing a Mario Brothers t-shirt, you are not allowed to say anything about it.

• Give in to your wacky urges

How will a guy know about your hilarious sense of humor if you always act prim and proper around him all night? You’ve got to have a quirk underneath all that good behavior.

• Flirt, and then flirt some more

A little touch in the elbow or forearm may be simple as to be inconsequential, but there isn’t a man on the planet that doesn’t feel a spark when you do it. Guys are genuine suckers for a woman’s attention.

• Let him know you you’ve checked his body out

Unlike women, guys don’t feel offended when objectified. A general date hookup rule to follow: If a guy mentions a body part more than once, say something positive about it.

• Refrain from telling stories about your ex camouflaged as “your friend”

Guys will know about this because they’ve done it themselves.

• Laugh at his jokes even if they’re not that funny

As long as his attempts on levity are even a tad bit funny and not offensive, there’s no harm in throwing a man a nice chuckle.

• Don’t show photos of your hot friends

All guys are going to think is… threesomes! This goes the same with iPhone slideshows of director’s cut photos of your pet. This makes a guy think of a different kind of threesome; the kind that involves fur and drool.

• Keep in mind that your horoscope has nothing to do with how your date will go

Or, in any case, how your relationship will fare. This goes the same with any fortune cookies you may read while out on a date hookup with him. However, playing fortune cookies in bed tells a different story—it’s fine and even encouraged.